


Two Ends of a Strand

by Torikour



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Biology, Angst, Apocalypse, Bottom Zim (Invader Zim), Dib wants to help, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Irken Empire (Invader Zim), M/M, Mpreg, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Smeets (Invader Zim), Survival, Top Dib (Invader Zim), Vaginal Sex, Xenophilia, Xenophiliac Dib (Invader Zim), Zim has ptsd, Zim is Defective (Invader Zim), zitties, zussy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24745900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torikour/pseuds/Torikour
Summary: Dib was so sick and tired of waiting and going to college, assuming that maybe Zim would come back one day.But today was the day. He was 23, and now a graduate, and the first thing he would do is ignore his degree and fly off into space to look for his alien.However, nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to discover..
Relationships: Almighty Tallest Purple/Almighty Tallest Red, Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz/Tak (Invader Zim)
Comments: 44
Kudos: 174





	1. Stranded

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This fanfic will have a rape flashback, attempted rape, and mentions of rape. Cutting will also be mentioned, but will not happen in the fanfic. Everything is tagged as well, so please take this warning and tags into consideration before proceeding, since this story may not be for everyone. 
> 
> Minor spoiler: Mentioned rapists will remain anonymous, and are not any of the main characters. 
> 
> (Comments are always appreciated, and let me know that readers are still active and want me to continue!)

Dib sighed, setting down his graduation hat and diploma on his worn out desk in the corner of his room. He felt really empty and a little distressed, since today was supposed to be a happy day for him. The human had his graduation and got a bachelors degree in microbiology- trying to pursue after his dad after all the years of disappointment, and attempting to move on from his childhood and put all the paranormal things in the past. Including Zim.

It had been a rather mentally challenging process, since Dib woke up one morning when he was eighteen and finishing up Hi Skool, just to find that Zim was gone. He had his suspicions and waited around for weeks which eventually became years. It was then that the fact that Zim was never coming back started to settle in. The threat of an Irken invader was gone, and Dib wanted to celebrate and be happy about it- but he couldn’t. Life was no longer exciting, and he was lonelier than ever. He went through a phase of being depressed, then angry, and then depressed all over again.

Yes he was glad that Earth was safe, but what’s a hero without a villain? Dib no longer had the heroic role of being Earth’s protector. He didn’t need to stop Zim or spy on him because he wasn’t there. So in an attempt to find some purpose, Dib tried to focus on the other paranormal things apart from Zim. But it was almost impossible to do so without remembering that little green alien. Everything was too easy, too boring and he wasn’t even making any money. Doing anything he did when Zim was here just instantly reminded Dib of him. Like picking up a water gun, going out hunting for paranormal things, inventing mechanics that he used to use to battle Zim’s robots, and eagerly going on his computer to check on the alien just to realize that there was nothing to do. Habits that he had since he was twelve could never really go away even if he tried. 

So he left the town, moved in a dorm and went to the best college the world had to offer to pursue in something completely different that wouldn’t remind him of Zim. Science was something he was good at, and it was definitely a good distraction from his overwhelming emotions. He had been able to forget about Zim, and had even made some new friends. They liked him, hung out with him and they went to parties together. College had made Dib feel like a normal person for once, and helped him relate to people since a lot of the students there were obviously doing the same things as he was. Plus, his father had been more than happy to recruit him and his friends if necessary, which made all his friends freak out from joy.

But all of this wasn’t real. Dib felt like he was lying to himself, putting on a fake persona and being buddies with people who only cared about being close to Membrane’s son rather than Dib as a person. He didn’t feel like anyone was actually interested in him, and maybe they would loose interest in him if he ever mentioned what his true passions were. He wanted to try and live a lie, and maybe overtime he could convince himself that it wasn't a lie. He thought he might feel better, and do what his dad has always wanted him to do. Even Gaz was going to college for game design! So Dib felt like he had to do this too. Gaz had said it would be good for him to get a fresh start, and so five years went by with no Zim. Dib had put everything related to Zim in a box and shoved it in his garage along with the other things and moved in to a dorm in an attempt to move on. Which probably wasn’t the best thing to do when he was feeling so alone.

Dib hated the silence of not having a roommate, but it was nice to have some alone time. But alas, he was quickly acknowledged by many once people saw his hair and heard his name. He became popular for a short period of time, but it died down over the weeks and his true friends stuck around. Everyone else were just acquaintances, but treated him as if he were a celebrity at times- which put this weird boundary between him and a lot of the students. It had been rough, and Dib used his dorm to his advantage to take care of this lonely feeling. He was popular- had gone to parties, fucked a couple guys and girls- it made him feel better temporarily. But he stopped over time, since it wasn’t working anymore. And now it had been about three years since he last had sex with anyone.

However, now he was back in his true home. Dib was quick to kick off his shoes and flop on to the familiar bed he would sleep on twice a week-since he came back on the weekends to spend time with Gaz. And rarely, his dad too.  
His dad and Gaz had been there for the graduation, and Dib had smiled and ignored all of his negative emotions as of that moment. It was a little fun- there was no denying that. But the only reason it was fun was because Dib told himself that today was his last chance at being normal. Another chapter in his life was gone, and everything was going to change all over again. He didn’t know what would happen to his friendships, or if he could even be satisfied with whatever job he could get. He was just broken, and felt like he was missing something. He had been feeling that way this whole entire time. Was this what normal is supposed to feel like? 

Then there was a soft knock at his door, which was wide open.

Dib quickly sat up, only able to see Gaz because of the faint bit of moonlight shining through his window. Right- she still lived here. The college she chose to go to was close by unlike Dib’s which was in the state next-door. And she also had a pretty good car that would not be embarrassing to drive everyday like Dib’s. Gaz had a custom Tesla she won at a gaming tournament, and she was pretty famous herself online. While Dib had a second hand navy blue car with stickers all over the back in a poor attempt to make it look the slightest bit better.

Gaz saw her brother sit up, his eyes looked dull and tired. She knew how much he had been suffering, and knew how difficult it was for Dib since it wasn’t like he could talk to anyone about this without being perceived as a complete lunatic and being sent to a mental hospital for examination.  
Quickly snapping back to the present, she stepped aside to give Dib space so that he could follow her. “I haven’t given you your present yet dip shit. Come on.” She grumbled, gesturing for him to follow.

Dib wiped his tired eyes with the sleeve of his graduation uniform, which he had not bothered to change out of since he felt like he was making his dad around when he was wearing it. But his dad had dropped him off here with his luggage about a half hour ago and went straight back to work. So why was he still wearing it?  
Dib slipped out of it, so now he was just in his plain striped shirt and black skinny jeans. This was probably his favorite shirt because it didn’t remind him of Zim and made him look a bit more normal. 

Fixing his glasses and shirt, he hurried after Gaz and down the stairs, trying not to look around the house too much. Gaz had changed it up quite a lot since it was technically her domain now. She invited her own friends over to play games, and apparently had sleep overs with her girl friend-who also contributed to the re-design of the house. There was a lot more purple, and a lot more machinery around the place.

“Hurry up slow poke.” Gaz was holding the front door open, tapping her foot on the floor. She honestly didn’t change much apart from her hair maybe being a tad bit longer. And she was wearing a striped hoodie Dib had never seen her wear before- 

“Sorry, I just.. wow. You uh.. changed this place a lot.” Dib pretended to be interested as he approached Gaz.

“Its only an upgrade.” She mumbled and stepped outside the house with Dib, who was hesitant.

“I didn’t bring my shoes..” He said nervously, not really feeling up to going out so late.

“You don’t need em. Come on.” Gaz rolled her eyes and continued onward. Dib followed her, and quickly realized where they were going- the back of the house. To the garage.

By the time Dib stopped in his tracks, it was too late. He saw the garage, wide open with Tak’s spaceship dead in the centre.

Gaz turned on her heel, crossing her arms as she looked at Dib.  
“You haven’t given up, have you?” She glared at him. “I know you’ve been sneaking out the house during the weekends and going in to the garage. You really thought your act could fool me?” She snapped, since she had been a little upset that Dib had hid this from her. In front of their dad, Dib pretended to be happy. Dib had guessed Gaz was so much better at reading him, and would know he was faking his smiles. And so, he would act a little sad around Gaz. His emotion’s hadn’t been a lie, and they’ve had heart to heart conversations. Dib just hadn’t been expecting Gaz to see though that too.

Dib sighed, raising his arms up in defeat. “Ok fine, you got me. No, I haven’t given up.” He felt really bad now, and blushed a little. “I just.. I know you and dad both wanted me to forget about Zim, but I can’t. I’m always wondering what the fuck happened to him- if he left out of will or if he was forced to. I just need to know.” 

“Well you better find out, because I took apart my fucking Tesla to finish fixing this ship.” She sighed. “Just don’t lie to me again.” 

“What..?” Dib put his arms down. “..You took apart your Tesla? But why? I thought you didn’t want-“

“I was wrong. You shouldn’t be shaping your life to please other people Dib. You need to live for yourself, and that’s what the Dib I knew before Zim left used to do. And I’m glad that that Dib is still in there.” She smirked ever so slightly. 

Dib smirked back, glad that his sister was supportive of his decision.  
“You’re right. I never actually changed.. going to college was like a plan B. If it was good and I felt like forgetting about Zim when I graduate, I promised myself that I would go out and find a job. Live like any sane person.” He chuckled. “But since when have I ever been sane? This became my other plan, in case I did graduate and still felt the need to go find Zim.” He sighed, relaxing a little.  
“I tried to forget, and I failed. So now I know that I need to go find out what happened to Zim. If he’s dead, then I need to find out how he died. If he’s alive, I’m gunna beat the shit out of him for leaving..” But of course he was hoping that Zim was alive. Because it was Zim they were talking about! That little annoying alien always sprung back to life and snapped back at him like a yapping dog. 

“Well I’m glad that you at least tried.” She pulled out her phone, taking a look at the time.  
“I have a match to win in a few minutes, so I’ll say bye now just in case you decide to take off. Just promise me not to die, and to come back eventually.” She walked towards him, cringing when her brother gave her a sudden hug.

“Thanks Gaz.. I promise I won’t die. And I promise I’ll come back.” 

———————————

Zim was still on Planet X, currently scavenging for food like he did every single day on this miserable planet. He hated his life, hated how he ended up here and hated himself. 

The Irken kept his cloak around him, his face covered with a worn out Irken gas mask, eyes covered with protective goggles and the hood of his clock shielding his head. The sand storm was getting worse, and this dried up excuse of a planet was dying every second. His goggles helped keep the constant blow of sand stay out of his overly sensitive eyes, and the gas mask helped him breathe during harsher winds. On good days, there would be maybe the slightest breeze and a clear sky. No storm and no stupid sand getting stuck in his throat. 

Zim tried his best to climb over a collapsed building. This whole planet was one big ruin, with so many other scavengers fighting for survival. Zim barely had any ammo left in his latter gun, and his cloak was falling apart. Sure it covered all of him well, and hid him well too. A green Irken would stand out in all the brown and beige scenery, and he would be a walking target. So every Irken here wore cloak and whatever they could find to keep themselves safe from the sand and from others. So for once in his horrid life, he was actually grateful that he was short. Even if he was more likely to get blown away if the winds became too strong, at least he didn’t have to worry about being mugged, killed or...  
Zim shook his head, trying to get rid of the image. He ventured forward, going through the city ruins and fallen bits of rubble and heading towards the rusty stores. The glass was all gone and shattered, sometimes if Zim was lucky- there would be a body somewhere in the city with a bag or weapon on the corpse. It was disgusting, but Zim barely had any choice. 

Today, Zim was going to explore an abandoned shopping centre in hopes of finding something to eat. So he held on his cloak tight and kept his head low, his feet really sore from all the walking- he knew he would need to rest before walking back home. Resting was something Zim could never really do, especially outside of his current living area- which was a tiny basement under the rubble of some building in the outskirts of the city ruins. He worried that if he let his guard down for even a second out here- that he would be attacked and looted. If that did ever happen to him, he half hoped he would just be killed than left to die from starvation or suffocation. The gas mask was really only necessary for the storms- and Zim was lucky to have found it. Before finding it, like many of the scavengers, he used a scarf to cover half of his face to stop himself from inhaling sand during storms. These deadly storms could last anything from an hour to a whole month- it was impossible to tell since there was no weather forecast or any way to tell anything. Zim only never got lost because he had left himself marks along buildings to tell where he was and how to get home. Apart from that, everything looked the same. The buildings, the debris, the sand, the dark clouds, it was all Zim could see. 

He skipped over a metal beam, avoiding the sharp edges of glass as he leapt over and through the shattered door. Outside had been rather noisy due to the wind, but once he was somewhat inside, it was a little more quiet. The building had huge holes and missing parts, but had enough coverage to maybe house a few scavengers temporarily. So Zim took out his laser gun, holding it in his hand as he ventured further. This is why he preferred corpses at times- a corpse is dead. All you had to do was get the stuff and leave. But places like this were bound to attract others. Any building that wasn’t falling apart or had decent enough coverage was ideal to anyone on this planet. 

So Zim stayed fully alert, approaching the worn out map in the centre of the building on a pillar. He read it in Irken, since this planet used to be Irk until Irkens destroyed it and then moved to a bigger planet. However, he hated how difficult it was to read with these goggles. He could take them off here since the walls were good enough. But he’d be blinded if a wall decided to collapse from the harsh winds. Or maybe even an Earth quake. Thankfully Zim’s own 'home' was not just any basement, but seemed to be a bunker of some sorts. Zim guessed it was an underground lab for an Irken scientist at one point, but now it was just dirt with a few things Zim found and considered furniture. It just looked like a rabbit hole. 

Zim personally hated it, but again, what choice did he have? And on the good side- since it was located under rubble, no one ever found the place either. So just like the past couple of months, Zim would go out in the morning, come home with food and depending on how long the storms would last, he would either stay home or go out for more food. But water or any liquids were another issue. Irken’s can’t drink dirty water, and so Zim made his own at home. It would rain heavily maybe once in two months or so, and Zim collected the rain and filtered it. But when it didn’t rain, he had to resort to using up one of the five bottles of water stored in his home. He had acquired them through an exchange with another scavenger, and now he was down to two. Irken’s didn’t really need to drink a lot, but it was still necessary. 

Zim ventured through the abandoned shopping centre, heading first to the drug store which he knew would be empty of supplies- but had to try. He searched the area, jumping when he nearly stepped on a scurrying Raglok- some weird rat creatures that populated this planet. He tried to avoid the dead ones, looking under shelves and going through empty boxes. He spent a good hour sweeping the place, and managed to find one large candy bar that had been pushed all the way to the far back of the underside of a shelf. Zim’s hand was small enough to go under the gap and grab it.  
He dusted off the debris and put it away in his worn out shoulder bag, since he didn’t want to risk twisting his arm back only to expose his Pak. His Pak was another thing he needed to be careful about. Machinery parts of any kind were also a rarity. Collectors used them to make replacement limbs, carriers to transport or carry more resources. Maybe repair their vehicles- Zim heard some were gathering parts to make a ship and leave this planet, but it was impossible. Some rusty ship can’t break through this planet’s atmosphere so easily, but some just hoped that they would make it or would happy to die trying. 

Zim spent most of the day there, and luckily didn’t bump into anyone. Despite all the searching, he only managed to find the large candy bar. He did find a cute looking doll of a Shmorp- one of the creatures that were transported to Irk and practically extinct here. They looked like an Earth cat, but with three eyes and two tails. Zim put that in his shoulder bag too before deciding to call it a day. It was getting darker, and Zim didn’t want to have to pull out his dying flashlight and gather unwanted attention. The storms usually got worse at night too, so Zim hurried his way back to the entrance he had walked in through. Glass cracked under his boot, and uneven grounds make his poor feet and ankles more sore than before. He had thought about resting earlier, but he couldn’t possibly do so now unless he wanted to walk in the dark or be taken down by the storm. 

He walked over to the escalators, one had remained broken but standing. Zim was carful when making his way back down, but a few steps off of the escalators and Zim’s antenna picked up something.  
The Irken froze, getting low and looking for something to hide behind. He heard the crunch of glass saw a faint shadow. 

Zim listened the best he could, trying to ignore the sound of the wind. He tried to hear the footsteps- which were getting louder. It sounded like someone was running instead of walking. If they were going to go up the escalators- they would see Zim. Afraid, the Irken took his chances and bolted towards the exit- which was that broken glass door- only to bump in to a figure that had turned the corner and ran straight into him. Did the figure come from the hallway that lead to the bathrooms? 

“UGH!” Zim growled, being forced back and falling on his side from the impact. Both had been running at full speed and clashed without seeing each other.  
The Irken groaned, the whole side of his body hurting from the fall. His extra weight didn’t help so much either, but Zim still pushed himself up- and then saw a nice looking bag. It had slipped off of the other’s shoulder. He didn’t hesitate to pick up the whole thing and run as fast as his little legs could take him out of the shopping centre. 

“HEY!” The masked figure shouted, getting up and chasing Zim. 

He was so much taller than the Irken, and was wearing a full on Irken space suit with a helmet. Zim should have knocked him unconscious and taken everything- but that would be impossible. So he ran, going up a ramp and hoping to loose the figure in all the sand and wind. But that didn’t work, the figure continued to chase Zim before leaping forward. It tackled the Irken to the ground, both of them rolling around in the mess of dry dust before the commotion caused the platform they were on to crumble. Both of them fell a level, and during the fall the other managed to grab the bag back. 

Zim winced for the second time as he hit the ground, but this time he landed on his back and in the sand. He was quick to react- standing up and pointing his gun at the figure with shaking hands. 

“DON’T MOVE!” He yelled, only to find that the taller also had a gun pointed at him as well.

“You’re the one that tried to steal my stuff!” The other growled, making Zim take a step back. 

“You’re the one that so rudely bumped into me!” Zim had thought he might as well try to get the bag, because clearly some important things were in there. Things that Zim could use. 

“..Wait.” The figure checked his watch, which was beeping loudly. After looking at his watch, he looked back up. 

“Zim?” The human was unbelieving- had Zim always been this small and jittery?

“..H..how do you know my name?! Are you here to finish the job?!” Zim took another step back, wanting to fire but only wanting to fire if it could guarantee a hit. But from this distance, the figure would see it coming and could easily dodge it. 

“It’s me, Dib.” The other took his helmet off, revealing a raven haired human with some stubble on his chin. He had round glasses and that familiar signature scythe shape on his head which was becoming a slight zig-zag shape now. Since they had fallen in a building, it hadn’t been too difficult to take off his helmet- and his glasses stopped any sand from blowing in his eyes anyway. From the front at least.. 

“Dib?!” Zim’s hands nearly went limp. “....how did you get here?! Wait.. how did you find me?!” The terrified and bewildered alien lowered the gun ever so slightly. 

“I tracked your Pak, and used Tak’s ship. It’s a long story.. but- first of all, fuck you!” Dib pointed an accusing finger at Zim. “First you leave without saying anything- just to come to this shitty planet! And then you try to steal from me and attack me!” 

A loud bang and rumbling in the distance made both of then flinch from fear, taking away the insult Zim was planning on spitting back. The winds were getting worse, and flashes were appearing in the clouds above. The lightning here was deadly, and was way too frequent for Zim’s liking. He was nearly struck twenty times already. One strike and his Pak and body would be fried. 

Zim sighed, putting his gun away. “I don’t have time for this! If.. if you want to survive I suggest you follow me.” Zim yelled over the howling winds.  
He was really unbelieving of everything that was happening- Dib? Was it really Dib? Zim didn’t know how many times he had imagined the human coming to this planet and rescuing him. But he always knew it was a stupid dream, and wasn’t prepared for it to be a reality. 

“Ok just- don’t shoot me!” Dib warned and put his helmet back on, the laser gun going back to his side as he followed Zim. 

He really wished he could just see the alien’s face- he recognised his voice, but his eyes and half of his face- all of his head was covered no thanks to that cloak. Dib was surprised how secure it was, and how it hadn’t slipped off during their fight and walk. Dib guessed there may be antenna slots on the inner top of the hood, which maybe were keeping the thing down on his head. 

After an hour or so of walking, Zim came to a stop. None of them had bothered to talk over the loud wind, and focused on taking steps and pushing through the storm. Dib couldn’t see shit at this point, but knew Zim was opening some door on the ground. It looked like one of those double doors that would lead to the basement of a house.  
Once Zim opened them, he stepped in. Dib followed, and once he was in Zim was quick to close the doors and seal them both shut tight. One with a key, again with a code, and then also by putting a chain around the inner handles despite the other locks being more than enough. 

“Stupid sand.” Zim looked at some of the bits that had come in from opening the door, sighing.  
Dib looked around the place- it was one medium sized room with no windows lit up with dim lightbulbs. On the right side of the room was a torn up couch and a low coffee table in front. And across from it on the opposite side of the coffee table was a single wooden chair. On the far side along the back wall was a counter, sink, and a tall shelf and cabinets. On the left side was another table with.. toys? Somethings were scattered around the floor, as well as a something that looked like sleeping bag. There was also a bed that almost looked like a crib- It was only then that Dib noticed a door way with no door, leading to another room which he was already curious about because he was rather nosey. 

“Make yourself at home.” Zim waved his hand carelessly, slipping off the hood of his cloak and taking his goggles and mask off. Dib did the same and took off his helmet, letting it drop on the floor. And then for the first time in years, the two looked at each other.  
Zim looked pale, his face thin with bags under his eyes. He didn’t look too good health wise..

“So are you gunna explain to me why the fuck you left? And what the hell’s going on?!” Dib came off more aggressive then he had intended. 

“SHH!” Zim snapped. “I will explain in a moment. I have somethings to take care of- just don’t raise your voice.” The Irken walked over to the counter on the far side of the room. He put his mask and goggles down and pushed them aside, taking the shoulder bag off and reaching in to grab the candy bar. 

“You’re home!” 

Dib’s head whipped in the direction of the strange high pitched voice. 

A small Irken- a smeet, came running out of that other room and headed towards Zim. “I’m hungry!” The smeet made grabby hands, reaching up for the candy bar.  
“I know.. Just wait a moment. You still have to grow in all your teeth.” He said to the smeet as he took his gloves off and grabbed a plate from the broken sink. The gloves were set aside, and Zim opened up the candy bar and put it on the plate. He then got a knife out of one of the drawers, and began to cut the thing into a bunch of tiny pieces. And once it was all cut perfectly, he put the knife in the sink and handed the plate to the smeet. “Eat slowly, ok? I can’t have you throwing up again.” Zim pat him on the head, and the little one smiled and said his thanks before heading over to the couch. 

Dib was still standing by the doorway, dumbfounded. He walked over to Zim, still shocked.  
“Y..you... you have a kid?” Dib tried to say more quietly, not wanting the smeet to hear. 

“A smeet, Dib. Huge difference for your primitive worm babies on Earth!” Zim rolled his cherry eyes. “And that is none of your business anyway.” 

“Um- yeah it is! I came all this way to know what happened, to find you- And I’m not leaving till I have an answer to all my questions!” Dib spoke louder in frustration, looking down at the Irken.  
Zim’s antenna were pinned back to his head. “Shush! I told you to stay quiet!” 

“Oh come on Zim, nobody out there is going to hear us in all that wind!” Dib rolled his own eyes this time, getting fed up. He didn’t travel weeks upon weeks just to get a cold shoulder from Zim. 

And then there was another voice. 

A piercing cry to be specific. 

Zim sighed, putting a hand on his head and growling from annoyance. “This is why I told you to stay quiet! Stupid!” He shoved Dib a little and walked over to the thing that looked like a crib- and it probably was since there were small stars and planets floating above it. An alien crib. 

“You have a BABY too?!” Dib asked, wide eyed as Zim looked down at the crib with such gentle eyes. 

The Irken flat out ignored Dib, prioritising the crying smeet. He slid his cloak off, tossing it aside before picking up the smeet in the crib. 

“..w..w..wait-“ Dib stuttered and became completely speechless when he saw Zim without the cloak.  
His stomach was rounded, as if he had a whole entire basket ball under his shirt. His chest- he had full breasts. All were covered in a beige turtle neck shirt. Zim still wore his black leggings and boots, and obviously his Pak as well. 

He held the crying smeet close to his chest, bouncing her and trying to soothe her. “Shh.. it’s ok. It was just some stupid ugly human.” Zim mumbled, trying to calm her down. His hand patting her back, and his antenna gently twitching above her head with her curled antenna.  
He walked over to the where the couch and coffee table was. He took a seat across from the couch on that wooden chair, still holding the smeet like an overprotective mother. 

Dib silently walked over, sitting on the couch next to the other smeet. Who was sitting and eating the bits of candy bar on his plate.

“Ok Zim-“ he looked across the coffee table, at the maternal alien. “What is going on? Because I clearly missed something.” He couldn’t stop staring at him- weak, and yet was very clearly pregnant, holding a baby in his arms and trying to stop its cries. 

“..Can you please just wait a second?! Can’t you see I’m busy?!” Zim hissed, but it only made the smeet’s cries louder. He regretted his decision, patting her head. “She’s just hungry.” Zim said to no one in particular, maybe himself.  
It was a bit of a struggle, but Zim managed to slip one arm out of the collar of his very stretchy sweater-like shirt. Dib only thought it would be polite to look away with the faintest blush as Zim pulled that side of his shirt lower. 

She was quick to latch on, and the cries were now gone. Zim relaxed in to the chair, leaning back a bit. Finally he could relax, and maybe get some rest. He couldn’t sleep but he just needed to stay still for a few minutes. 

Dib sighed, looking at the Irken and trying to focus on his eyes instead of his bodily changes. “Are you a female? Or is this an alien thing..? Wait no, tell me what happened first.” The human tried to sound less eager, and watched Zim think for a moment.  
Right now, the Irken was in a better mood. Both his smeets were happy, and the pressure in his chest was being relived. So he decided it was about time he told Dib everything.


	2. A Painful Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This fanfic will have a rape flashback, attempted rape, and mentions of rape. Cutting will also be mentioned, but will not happen in the fanfic. Everything is tagged as well, so please take this warning and tags into consideration before proceeding, since this story may not be for everyone.
> 
> Minor spoiler: Mentioned rapists will remain anonymous, and are not any of the main characters.
> 
> (Comments are always appreciated, and let me know that readers are still active and want me to continue!)

“I left Earth because I found out that Irken soldiers were on their way to force me back to Judgementia for an existence evaluation..” Zim frowned at the memory, holding the young smeet closer to his chest. The little one was still suckling happily. 

“I barely escaped the last evaluation.. but after what I did with the Florpus- the Tallests wanted me dead. Officially. They were no longer willing to keep me alive for entertainment, and decided that it was time for me to die.” He gulped from the brief feeling of fear and averted his gaze. “I left Earth the moment I found out they had made it out of the Florpus and were on their way. Not the Tallests themselves- just a transportation ship. I was unfortunately caught because I had wanted to stick close to Earth. I had nowhere else to go, so hid myself in my ship behind the Earth’s moon.. I was hoping to return to Earth once the soldiers gave up on trying to find me. Weeks passed, and I wanted to return. I was getting really bored in space, and assumed they were gone when my ship couldn’t detect their transportation ship. My Voot was too small to be detected, and was on cloaking-mode the whole time so I thought I was safe.” But he had been wrong.

“When I came out from my hiding spot, I was instantly caught. My Voot was forced to dock with the other ship and I had underestimated how many soldiers actually showed up. There were about ten ships that had been circling Earth and looking for me- they all surrounded me and I was locked up until I got to Judgementia.” Zim fix his posture, moving the smeet away from his chest and holding her so that her head was right above his shoulder. He pat her back, over the tiny Pak. 

Dib looked away with a blush, feeling like he shouldn’t be watching because he knew where his gaze would land. He had never expected to see Zim with tits. It was weird but, kind of cool at the same time- but he didn't want to come off as rude by unintentionally staring at his nemesis. 

Zim noticed the human look away and let out a long sigh.  
“Have you never seen a human parent feed their worm baby before? Because you are acting like you haven’t.” Zim shook his head disapprovingly. The smeet let out a small burp before trying to move back down for more. Zim allowed it, and she began suckling again.

“I just.. I dunno. I have but, I feel like I need to respect your privacy.” Dib didn’t know why he said that. 

“Dib, if I wanted privacy, I would have told you. Urgh- whatever! Do you want to know the rest?” Zim asked since it wasn't like he had anything better to do, and the human slowly looked back at those cherry eyes. Dib nodded, unable to get rid of the faint blush. Why did he have to be like this? 

“Ok, so- after I got caught, I tried to escape. Tried to convince everyone that it was a mistake.. but it didn’t work. I was on Judgementia, waiting in outside the court room for my trial. Cuffed and guarded- but I was persistent. This time, I was able to get away. I went into hiding in the underground- since no Irken was allowed underground except for smeets and robots. Irkens are forbidden to interrupt a smeet’s first developing years, and only certified ones are allowed to interact with them if necessary. So I was quite safe- and yes, there is a smeetery on Judgementia. They ran out of space on Irk and had to start putting smetteries in the underground’s of the planets they have conquered and deemed fit.”

“Anyway.. I wasn’t as safe as I thought I was. They programmed the robots to go after me, and I had been struggling to escape as they chased me down the hallways and through many rooms. And that’s when I met Mip.” Zim flicked his head a little, gesturing to the smeet on the couch who smiled. “..He helped me escape the robots temporarily and told me where I could find a ship to leave the underground. But in doing so- it automatically made him a criminal..” Zim felt bad, horrible actually.

“Because he aided me- a criminal- he was labelled defective. The robots captured him and put him on a ship to be sent to court..” 

“But he’s just a kid!” Dib looked at the smeet, who happily licked the spotless plate. 

“Yes I know. But the Empire doesn’t care. They won’t tolerate an Irken working for anyone but the Tallests or the control brains. Working under another being apart from those two, or another species or a criminal was a death crime. Every Irken needs to dedicate their entire life in to serving the control brains and Tallests. I only got away with a few of my own crimes as a smeet because I was passionate about working for the Tallests. But Mip had prioritised a criminal instead of the Tallests wishes and rules.” Zim sighed.

“But as you can see, we made it out alive. I got on that ship, broke the robots and set a course to Earth. But again.. once I got into space, I was cornered. I couldn’t go back the way I came from, so at the time- I flew the ship away from the other ships that were chasing me. And the ship that I stole was unequipped- it was a shuttle meant for transportation only. So there were no weapons or shielding options.” 

“I was hit multiple times, and was forced to crash land. The soldiers had purposely cornered me and were trying to kill me- and if they failed, they were hoping I’d be forced to land on Planet X if they couldn't kill me. The ‘dead planet’ which is like one big war zone where defectives and criminals were left to die. Since they couldn’t exactly put every single criminal in a prison or Mooping 10 - the worse of the worse were all just dumped here..” Zim cringed, since he truly hated it here.

“My crash landing had alerted near by scavengers. They began to fight for the ship, take some parts for themselves and it became a huge mess. I left the scene with Mip after noticing that the ship might explode, and found shelter for the night.” 

Zim looked over at Dib, who was still listening with wide eyes. The blush no longer present on his face.  
“And then what happened?” He asked like a child listening to a bed time story. 

“Not much..” The Irken became uneasy, refusing to talk further. 

“Well something clearly happened after, because you didn’t mention her-“ Dib looked at the smaller smeet in Zim’s arms. “And you’re also pregnant! Who’s the father?” Dib asked, and didn’t know why he was suddenly feeling possessive of Zim all the sudden- but he knew for a fact that any pregnant person should not be out and about where these scavengers lurked. Especially since the Irken looked like he was due very soon. If anyone was scavenging, it should be the father.

“I don’t know.” Zim replied plainly, his sudden mood change alerted the smeet he was holding, and she stopped suckling for a moment. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? Didn’t you...like.. have sex? Or.. or do Irken’s reproduce in a different way?” Dib was curious- he had always been curious. He couldn’t see the bodily cues Zim was displaying, and was purely focused on getting an answer. 

“Irkens mate. I think sex means mate on Earth, yes?” The alien eyed Dib, who nodded.  
“..so.. I guess I did have sex. I just.. didn’t want to.” He cringed before shivering and stating-

“I was forced to mate.” 

And after that, a thousand unpleasant memories came flooding back to him. He had always tried not to think about what happened- but when the result of the happenings were literally inside of his own body- it was hard to ignore. 

——————————

His flashback began..

Zim was in the headquarters on Planet X, where the guards were stationed. The building was in the middle of nowhere, and the guards only ever left the facility on a ship. They were in charge of guarding the planet and making sure nobody leaves or even dares to touch the atmosphere’s boarder. It was like a post for the whole planet, and the guards changed frequently. Making sure all the criminals stay on Planer X. 

Despite the warning he got from the dying Irken a mile away from the facility, Zim had ventured forward. 

He made it this far, and now all he had to do was steal a ship and leave with Mip. 

The two ran towards the ship sitting in the middle of a large open room. It was perfect, and nobody was around- at least that’s what Zim had thought.  
He heard Mip’s distressed cry from behind him and stopped in his tracks. The smeet had been caught by a guard, and a gun was pointed at Zim. 

“And what do you think you’re doing?” The gun powered up. “How did you get in?” 

Zim was conflicted- he could run in the ship and take off- but he could risk getting shot and dying. Not to mention, he would be leaving Mip behind. The smeet that helped him- and because of him, had to live a life of misery. So he stayed still, not daring to attempt pulling out his gun.

“Not going to speak huh? Well what if I did this-“ The other pointed his own the gun right up to the side of Mip’s head. 

“Don’t-“ Zim frowned. “I’m defective. My Pak is defective- so the barrier around the building didn’t pick it up. I was invisible.” He answered honestly.  
“Now you know. So..so let him go!” Zim hissed, feeling protective of Mip. Maybe this was why Irken’s weren’t allowed to interact with smeets- because it would trigger their maternal instincts to activate. 

“You’re THAT defective?” The soldier laughed. “And you’re small... wait- you’re Zim, aren’t you? The worse Irken to ever exist?” He chuckled and looked down at the small creature. The smeet had an excuse for being small and short- he was a smeet. But Zim was just like this, and the guy found it.. interesting. 

So that’s what they were calling him now? The worse Irken to exist? It made his antenna fall low, and chest ache. 

The guy pointed his gun back at Zim, still keeping a tight hold on Mip.  
“Imagine how pleased the Tallests would be to know that I was able to kill you once and for all.” He kept that smirk on his face, flashing those sharp teeth. “We all knew you were here somewhere, and assumed you would be dead. It’s a surprise to know you’re very much alive-“ 

Zim didn’t think, he acted. Now that the gun was away from Mip, he launched himself forward and pounced on to the soldier. He tackled him till he fell back, and the other’s grip on Mip loosened. 

The soldier fired his gun in a panic, completely missing Zim by an inch. The Irken kept himself tightly around the figure, using all his power to keep him down as Mip collected himself and stood up. 

“GET OUT OF HERE!” Zim yelled at the smeet, who had ran to the exit of the room- only for the door to slam down shut in front of him.  
Mip freaked out and ran to another door way and went through, only to find out that it lead to nowhere and was nothing but a storage closet for ship parts. Scared, he freaked out and turned around- 

The closet door slammed shut, trapping the smeet in the dark small room. 

Zim had tried to keep this guy down, and had managed to push the gun that had fallen out of his hand away from him. Zim wished he could grab the gun- or his own gun- but that would mean he would have to let one of his hands go. Plus, the guards had taken out all of the weapons along with his Pak legs out of his Pak when he was being transported to judgementia. He missed them dearly.

The soldier struggled for a little, and after his panicked state seemed to pass, his expression changed. He fought with precision, using moves that he probably learned in soldier training.

Within an instant, Zim was shoved to the ground and the other got up in a flash. Grabbing his gun before standing over Zim and pointing it at him, breathing heavily from the struggle. 

“I see you’ve got some fight in you. I like that.” He chuckled, wiping the pink blood dripping from his own lip. Zim had threw a hard punch during the tackle, but it only managed the smallest cut.  
“Take your gun out and slide it over.” The soldier instructed, flicking his own gun up a little. He kept it pointing at Zim, and it was then that the Irken knew- this guy wasn’t planning on killing him. Because if that was the case, he would have done so already. 

Zim took this chance. He did in fact get out his own gun from his side, which only had one shot left. The soldier was close enough. He could do it-  
But the guy had his gun so close to his head. He might shoot a laser right through his organic brain before Zim even got a chance. Plus the Irken may not even hit the other in a life threatening area. 

“I know what you’re thinking.” He knelt down, shoving the tip of his gun to Zim’s forehead. “You kill me, and that smeet will stay trapped in the storage room. Only I can send a mental command from my Pak to unlock and lock these doors.” He pressed the gun harder. “Shoot me and I’ll shoot you. And your precious smeet will either die of starvation or be killed for aiding you. So.. which will it be?” He asked, toying with Zim. There was no way the smaller could get a shot to his head, and any other place was covered in his Irken Empire armour. 

Zim held his gun, thinking his options.  
“W..Why should I do what you say? Why don’t you just kill me?” He asked, glaring up at the other. 

He sighed. “If you do as I say, I’ll let this one slide and escort you out the building. If you don’t, you and the smeet will end up dead.” His other hand moved to Zim’s face, gently caressing his cheek. “I don’t want to kill you because I see potential.. you’re so.. small..” He licked his own lips. “Probably tight too.” 

Zim recoiled from the touch, not fully understanding the last part.  
“But I want to escape.” Zim quickly raised his gun and fired- but was too slow. He had been tired from the walk here, and he barely remembered his invader training. 

The other used his free hand and grabbed the Irken’s wrist, lowering it as he fired. The laser beam hit the guy’s armour covering his leg, and no physical damage was done.  
He squeezed Zim’s wrist tightly, making the Irken yelp and drop his gun. The soldier kicked it far away from both of them. He pinned Zim to the ground, letting out a low chirp mixed with a growl. 

“Nice try. But if you haven’t noticed- you’re the smallest Irken alive.” He let go, standing up and looking around. “Well you’ve got two options.” He said as Zim sat up, rubbing his wrist. 

“You can listen to me and get out of here alive with your smeet, or you can both die right here. It’s a win win for me, but I’d rather not kill a rarity like you.” He had a twisted grin plastered on his face, his own antenna standing up tall in a form of dominance. 

Zim had already ruined the smeet’s life. He didn’t want to be the cause of his death too. He very much wanted Mip to live, and if he left this place.. there would be a thousand more chances to escape. If he wanted a chance at giving Mip and himself a better life, he knew what he had to do; which was get out of here alive. Then he could ‘regroup’ and come up with a different plan. 

But then again, guy could be lying. Zim’s gun was way too far away, and he wouldn’t be able to open the doors even if he was victorious. He would be caught and killed along with Mip. He was smart- and knew what he had to do to survive. 

“..fine. I’ll listen to you..” Zim growled after he weighed out his options and came to that conclusion. 

“You finally used your brain.” He kept his gun out as he ordered. “Stand up.” 

Zim slowly stood up, not daring to do anything the solider didn’t want him to do. 

“Take off your pants.” He ordered again, looking at him as if he was prey. 

“W-what?” Zim stuttered, thinking he heard wrong. 

“Don’t make me say it again.” He warned, his blood red eyes threatened the smaller. 

Zim gulped, his hands first taking off his boots, and then going to his waist band. He slipped out of his black leggings and was then able to take off his pants. He tossed the clothes aside, frowning. 

“Loose the cloak too.” 

Again, Zim obeyed. Taking off his cloak and letting it drop to the floor.

“That’ll do.” His gun pointed to the ground. “Bend over on the floor facing the wall.” 

Zim didn’t know where this was going, but he was terrified. His instinct told him something he just couldn’t identify, telling him to run and to be afraid as soon as his back was turned to this Irken.  
He once again, did as he was told and bent over on the floor, ass up in the air. 

The guy put his gun in his Pak instead of his side, moving behind Zim and kneeling down. 

Zim didn’t know what was happening, and turned to look over his shoulder when a large hand forced his head back down. 

“Stay down shorter.” The soldier growled, keeping his hand there while his other worked to get rid of the armour and clothes on his lower half. 

More rustling was heard- the sound of armour dropping on the floor.  
“Now stay still, and don’t move. Don’t even dare to open your mouth, or I might change my mind about letting you live.” 

The threat was enough to shut the Irken up. He keeps his lips closed, his head still turned and forced to look at the ship which was so close by- but even if he had made it, there was a chance that the upper hatch wouldn’t have opened for the ship to take off. He would have liked to blow a hole in the ceiling perhaps, but this ship was again- only a shuttle ship. Perfect for travelling long distances, not so perfect for fighting and maneuvering.

And then Zim felt it. Something hot and wet like a tongue rubbing between his legs . 

The sudden sharp pain make him gasp- and he had to bite his lip to stop himself from yelping.  
Something was shoved deep inside of him. Something big and thick, pushed in to the hilt. This was no doubt, an Irken tentacle. Zim has thought only defectives had sexual desires- but clearly he was wrong. 

“Mhm.. just as I predicted.” The soldier cooed. “So tight-“ He began to thrust, moving his tentacle in and out of the bleeding slit. 

It hurt. It burned. But Zim withstood it. He knew the taller would have to stop eventually, and all he had to do was stay still and quiet. 

He moved his hands and grabbed Zim’s hips, picking up his pace. Pink blood dripped on the floor, making a puddle as Zim started feeling dizzy. 

“I never thought I’d be your first.” He laughed, slamming in deep. 

Tears formed in Zim’s eyes- he felt like throwing up. Some gross organ was being forced inside such an intimate and sensitive place. That squirming, large pulsing tentacle moving in and out was too painful. He wanted to scream, to yell and beg for him to stop- but the guy had been clear; he would change his mind if Zim did anything he wasn’t supposed to. 

His whole body bounced forward and back, slapping noises echoed throughout the large room. Heavy breaths and wet noises were also heard through all this pain. 

“Irk you’re so tight-“ He hissed, forcing the smaller’s legs apart further and snapping his hips up into the slit. His tentacle went deep, too deep for Zim’s liking. 

But all he could do was cry and endure the pain and grossness of it all. 

It felt like it continued forever, and then finally, Zim felt himself being filled with a warm-thick substance. Shooting out inside him from the throbbing and twitching tentacle.  
Zim felt even more sick as he felt it. He felt bloated from the amount the taller produced, and when the tentacle was finally pulled out- a gush of Irken semen and pink blood poured out of his abused slit. 

Then he felt hands on his ass cheeks, spreading them apart and kneading them. “I wonder how tight you are here..” The shoulder rubbed his other hole that was definitely not meant for penetration. 

After a few minutes of heavy breathing, the soldier behind him shifted. When his breathing evened out, he went on to round two.  
Zim sometimes hated the amount of stamina a taller had compared to a shorter. 

Then, he felt a different kind of pain. A tentacle thrust in his hole, and it was just as piercingly painful. It burned and didn’t feel right at all- and yet the tentacle went deeper, squirming inside.  
Zim got a slap on the ass, flinching. The guy behind him started to fuck him senseless, not even starting slow. 

It hurt. It was painful- more blood dripped from between his trembling legs as the solider pounded in to him. Slapping him hard on both cheeks. 

Everything had been a blur, but Zim was relieved when he felt the taller filling him up once again because he knew it was over. He hated it, but at least the thrusting stopped. 

When he was done, he slipped his tentacle out. It retracted quickly, and the guy began to put his clothes and armour back on his lower half.  
Zim didn’t move. Not until he was told to. 

“Ok, get your clothes on.” The guy stood up straight, getting his gun back out from his Pak. 

Zim didn’t know if he could even get up. The insides of his abdomen felt like they had been torn apart and moved around. Pain spiking up between his legs and behind him as he quietly pushed himself up. His arms and legs were trembling more in an attempt to keep his weight up through the pain. 

“Hurry up. I don’t have all day.” The other grumbled, and Zim tried to get dressed quick. 

Both his slit and his hole were dripping pink down his legs like a river- it was disgusting, and Zim hated that he had to put his pants and leggings back on regardless. He could feel it pulsing out of him, making a mess of the fabric.  
He put his boots on, still shaking and traumatized- but he managed. 

The doors to the closet and exit opened, and Mip came running towards Zim with swollen eyes- he had clearly been crying as well.  
Zim immediately picked him up, keeping him close to his chest and trying to soothe him- or more like trying to soothe himself.

“A-are we gunna die?” Mip sniffed, antenna flat. 

“..Don’t worry. We will be ok.” Now that Zim had allowed such things to be done to his body. 

Just as promised, the two were escorted out the building through the back door. 

“Good luck out there Zim, I'll be waiting for your next attempt..” The guy shoved the Irken holding the smeet out the door and back in to the dead lands. The soldier was proud that he had fucked probably the most pleasurable Irken in the whole universe. And it was Zim- he got what he deserved, and the solider wasn’t the least bit sorry as he slammed the door shut. 

Zim’s legs finally gave in, and he fell on the floor.  
“Oh Irk it hurts-“ He set the smeet down, clutching his lower abdomen and whimpering as he felt nauseous. He had been shocked and frozen- numb and maybe even disassociated for a little during his walk out here. But everything was now hitting him hard. 

He turned away from the smeet and gaged, throwing up the food he had worked hard to find from this morning. 

——————————

“Zim?” Dib felt bad as he watched a few tears stream from Zim’s ruby eyes. 

The Irken shook his head, quickly noticing that the smeet in his arms had begun to cry. He bounced her a bit- since she wasn’t latching on.  
“Shhh shhh.. it’s ok.” Zim didn’t know why it felt like he was talking to himself. He didn’t even realise the tears that had escaped his eyes. Tears that resembled the tears of pain he had shed during that whole event. 

“I’m.. so sorry..” Dib frowned. “I didn’t- I didn’t think that you-“ He bit his lip, not wanting to bring it up again since it clearly distressed the Irken. 

“It’s fine.” Zim wiped his tears with his sleeve the best he could. “It’s not like I can change it. And it’s already happened twice- you’d think I’d gone over it by now.” He chuckled sadly, not wanting to let his negative thoughts trigger another flashback. He had already been forced to remember his first time. He didn’t need to be reminded of the second. 

“It’s not fine!” The human felt uncomfortable- because he didn’t know what to do. How could he help someone who had been raped? If he had been back on Earth, he would have gone straight to the internet. But for now, he did what he could and tried to change the subject. 

“Do you.. uh.. want to know what I’ve been up to?” He asked, still having trouble believing that he saw Zim cry. 

Once Zim calmed his smeet down, he sighed. She was still hungry, and after sensing that her mother was no longer in distress, she latched back on pretty quickly.  
“..Yes. It’s only fair that you explain since I had to explain.” Zim huffed, eyeing Dib. 

“Ok well.. You left when we were finishing up Hi Skool. I was around 18, and I spent a year not knowing what to do and being depressed..” He blushed, not so proud of wasting a full year.  
“I went to college for four years to study microbiology, hoping that maybe I could live a normal life after I graduate. But- I tried, and I failed.” He leaned back on the couch, noticing Mip staring at Zim. 

“I wanted to figure out what happened to you. So I went on Tak’s ship and went to one of the Irken-conquered planets. Once I was close enough, I hacked in to their data base and spent so long trying to find your profile. When I did, it said that you were currently on this planet. So I snagged some armour and other things and headed here.”

“I parked Tak’s ship on the other side of the city. Then the ‘Zim tracker’ activated since I was on the same planet as you-“ He looked away. “I put a tracker in your Pak when I was sixteen. But it only worked if you were on Earth.” 

“Of course you did!” Zim rolled his eyes. “I will allow it for now, since...never mind.” Since it had helped Dib find him, and now Zim had a new hope. Maybe he didn’t have to live the rest of his life on this misurable planet after all? 

“You put a tracker on me as well! That I had to surgically remove!” Dib snapped, but it only made Zim smirk. 

“Yes, I remember that. But continue with your story human! Why were you running when you found me?” Zim tilted his head, lifting up one of his antenna. 

“I was being chased by a group of Irken scavengers from what I could tell. They wanted my armour and bag- so I ran. There was a missing wall in the shopping centre bathroom, so in an attempt to loose them, I ran into the building through there. Then I bumped into you-“ Dib paled a bit.  
“Shit- are you ok? I really didn’t know that you were pregnant when I tackled you.” His eyes fell on the rounded stomach, but then back up to Zim’s eyes. 

“..Yes I am fine. If something was wrong with the smeet, my Pak will probably alert me. As long as I'm breathing and able to feed this little one- I consider myself fine.“ Zim smiled at the smeet in his arms, holding her close.

“I want too!” Mip got off of the couch, wanting to be picked up by Zim. 

“No Mip, you’re too old for this..” Zim scolded the smeet, since he knew exactly what he wanted. Every time Zim was finishing up feeding his younger smeet, Mip would try to get his turn too. Yes he was still a smeet, probably the equivalent to a human toddler that maybe knew a bit more vocabulary because of the Pak. 

“What’s going on here?” Dib was confused as he looked at the smeet, wanting to feel a part of the conversation.

“He wants milk.” Zim sighed. “..Sometimes, I can’t find anything from my scavenging. He’s just a smeet, so he needs to eat more and get more calories and nutrients in. I didn’t want him to starve, so sometimes I let him have some-“ He frowned before looking at Mip, feeling like he was failing to care for him. He knew a single candy bar was not enough for a growing smeet. He knew the right thing to do was to feed Mip too- since Irken milk had everything a smeet needs. The only issue was that if he started feeding Mip so often, his body would start producing more, which made it hard for him. 

Was he being selfish? Knowing that Irken milk had all the necessary nutrients to help Mip grow- but not feeding him as often? Now he felt even more guilty.

“Want!” Mip yipped, looking at him with those puppy-dog eyes Zim was so weak to. 

“..Fine. Come on.” Zim pat his own leg, and Mip sat down on his lap.  
“If feeding one smeet makes you uncomfortable, then you might want to look away.” Zim said in an annoyed tone and slipped his shirt down his other side as well. 

Just seeing Zim handling both smeets whilst being pregnant seemed like he had too much on his plate. His hands were full, and Dib felt like he should help somehow.

“It’s not that it makes me uncomfortable. I just.. is there anything I can do to help?” He asked, wondering if Zim could give him a task so the Irken would have one less thing to worry about. 

“Unless you can magically take away the soreness my Irken body is facing- then no.” Zim gently put a hand behind Mip’s head, guiding him as he suckled on his other breast. And now, he was feeding two smeets at once.

——————————-

Dib has been silent for most of the time after being scolded by Zim to let him feed his smeets in peace. So he laid on the couch, dozing off in his thoughts and occasionally looking over at Zim. 

He knew what happened- but he didn’t know what happened to make Zim like this- All mellowed out, still a bit uptight and yappy, but no longer cared for himself only. He was... mature. 

Dib really didn’t know what he was expecting, of course Zim matured. It’s been five years, and he felt stupid for assuming Zim would be the same exact Irken he was on Earth. Which was loud, irrational, prideful, and aggressive. 

But watching Zim nursing his smeets hit differently. He was calm, and very patient. Dib knew he had always been patient when it came down to Gir. The robot was a loud mess, and way more out of control than the smeets Zim was currently feeding. Where was that robot anyway?  
He wanted to ask, but Zim just looked tired and done. The smaller smeet with the curled antenna had fallen asleep in Zim’s arm, cuddled up against his breast. The other was looking less pale, purring happily. Zim gently rubbed the back of Mip’s head as he finished up, then moved his thumb to the corner of his mouth to wipe away the sweet pink tinted milk. 

“Are you full now?” Zim asked, earning a yawn from Mip who simply rest against him and nodded. He was lucky that Irken milk made smeets very sleepy. 

“Dib.” As soon as the Irken called for him, Dib snapped out of his trance.  
“Can you put Jil back in her crib?” Zim asked, and Dib was happy to finally be able to help. 

“Yeah.” He stood up in a hurry, walking over to Zim. 

“Be very VERY careful with her.. If you drop her I will kill you.” Zim growled, letting the human take the smeet from his arm.  
This was Dib’s first time holding any baby- she was so small, and fragile. 

“Don’t worry.. I got her.” The human kinda felt good about Zim letting him do this- it meant that to an extent, he was trusted. 

He took the smeet back to her crib, carefully laying her down and giving her the gentlest pat on the head.  
“So cute..” Dib mumbled, turning around and heading back. 

Zim had his sweater -fully- back on. He was attempting to stand up whilst holding a limp Mip, who looked like he’d been knocked out cold. 

“Let me-” Dib rushed over to help, which Zim happily accepted since he was just really tired at this point. “Where should-“

“On the couch. Mip always sleeps on the couch.” Zim said as the human pulled one of the pillows forward and put it near the armrest of the couch. He set Mip down so that his head would rest on the pillow.

Zim couldn’t help but feel some form of respect when he saw Dib handling his smeets with such care and perhaps love too. The human looked like he was in the middle of an intense exam or something- focused and very gentle. Zim remembered Dib being violent and always aggressive towards him, so seeing this was definitely.. new.

“His blanket is behind the couch cushioning. He likes to hide it there since he doesn’t want me using it.” Zim rolled his eyes, and Dib was quick to find that blanket. As he put it over the sleeping Mip, Zim got up from his chair and walked over to the counter, pulling something out of the bag he had left there and walking back to the couch.  
He placed the plush he had found at the shopping centre next to Mip, and the smeet immediately cuddled it close to him. It made Zim smile, and Dib did as well. 

“I’m going to get some sleep- unfortunately because of my condition, I need it.” Zim said with another sigh, but was thankful that growing smeets needed sleep too. “I wasn’t prepared to have a guest- but you can have the sleeping bag if you want. I.. owe it to you.” Zim hated admitting it, but it was true. He treated the human so horribly for years, and that same human came all the way across the galaxy to find him, and help him put his smeets to bed. The least he could do was offer his sleeping spot. And maybe then.. Dib will be in a good mood, and take one of his smeets with him back to Earth, since Zim doubted Dib would want to save him after all the shit he had done in the past. But the smeets were innocent, and deserved a chance. 

“But- where are you gunna sleep?” Dib asked, and Zim just shrugged. There was no way Zim could fit on the couch with Mip with his large stomach. Plus, the smeet kicked a lot in his sleep. He kept having nightmares of the robots trying to get him, but thankfully the Irken milk knocked him out enough to not have any dreams. 

“I can get an extra pillow and sleep on the floor. It doesn’t matter.” Zim waved his hand carelessly, going over to the cabinets and pulling out a worn out towel and a pillow. 

“I don’t think so.” Dib approached Zim and held his hand out. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Urgh! No, you deserve to sleep in the sleeping bag! It doesn’t make that much of a difference anyway! Just- let me do this for you, ok?” Zim’s voice trembled, and he began to wonder if he was having another one of his mood swings since he had just slipped out his true feelings- which he rarely shared at all. In fact, he hadn’t had anyone to even talk to that wasn’t a smeet, or wasn’t trying to kill him for who knows how long. 

“..what? What do you mean deserve?” Dib wanted to understand. 

“..I don’t know. You traveled all this way, and helped me put the smeets to bed. It’s only fair that I repay you. Think of it as the opposite of revenge!” Zim felt like he owed so much more to the human- he wanted to be hospitable. He needed to ask sooner than later for the human to take his smeets back to Earth, and if he wanted the slightest chance at Dib saying yes- he knew he had to make some sacrifices. 

“I did that because I wanted to! And honestly it’s not a big deal. I personally don’t think you shouldn’t even be sleeping in a sleeping bag to begin with! You need a bed- the floor isn’t going to do you any good.” Dib admitted, even though saying any of this was futile. It wasn’t like he could magically get a bed to appear. 

“It’s too late for healing Dib. My back has been sore for so long already- as well as my feet. It’s not going to go away, and I’m used to it now. It’s not the worse thing that’s happened to me!” Zim was getting frustrated- why wouldn’t the human just take the offer? Why did he have to be so difficult? 

Dib was silent for a moment, and came up with a solution he had been thinking about ever since Zim had said he was sore.  
“I’ll sleep on the sleeping bag if you sit on it with me for a bit. I’m not really sleepy yet..” The human stated, and was glad to hear Zim agree with a bit of annoyance. The two then walked over to the sleeping bag on the floor, and Zim sat down with discomfort while Dib oddly sat down behind him. 

“.. Dib, why on Irk-“ Zim’s sentence was cut short when he felt hands begin to soothe the soreness on his shoulders and back. The human started to give Zim a massage, and within seconds, he felt the Irken relax under his touch. Learning back and letting him continue.  
Again, Dib thought that he was trusted which made him feel good. It’s not easy to turn your back on someone you’ve been enemies with for years, but Zim did it anyway. 

He stopped for a moment, wondering if Zim would want to take off his Pak- but that might be too much. 

“..Dib.. please don’t stop.” Zim spoke so softly, wanting the human to continue. He didn’t want to be demanding, but it had been so long since he wasn't in pain. So long since a touch didn’t bring pain either- but pleasure instead. 

The sound of Zim saying those words made Dib continue with reddened cheeks. But the dirty thoughts were gone in an instant as he went back to work- 

He worried about how 'small' Zim was despite being pregnant. Dib could feel his bones almost clearly, and his body temperature in general felt cold. 

“.. this feels so good...” Zim purred, feeling his soreness start to fade. 

Dib massaged him for a while before Zim finally urged him to stop, saying that he was relieved.  
“My back feels so much better- where on IRK did you learn that?” Zim turned to face Dib, who just shrugged. 

“I watched a YouTube video once out of curiosity and remembered bits of it from that. But most of it was just random things I thought might feel good for you-“ He said as his eyes fell on Zim’s booted feet.  
“I can massage your feet too! I promise you will feel better.” Dib did that cute smile again, being nothing but nice to Zim- when only a few hours ago, he was nothing but hostile. 

“..eh.. my feet are not... pleasant..” Zim subconsciously flexed the two claws on his toes, feeling self conscious. 

“I don’t care. My feet are worse!” Dib moved closer to Zim and gently began to take a boot off. The Irken was uneasy, but allowed it once again.  
The human slipped off one boot, and then the other. He was quick to notice that Zim had bruises and scars all over his feet, as well as a bit of swelling. 

“I-it’s from all the walking.” Zim gulped, debating on wether to just pull his feet away from Dib. 

“You shouldn’t have to walk so much..” Dib mumbled and gently took one foot- it was so small, and fit perfectly in his large hand. He began to massage it, loving the small pleasured moan that escaped Zim’s lips. 

The Irken kept his foot up, and Dib eventually placed it on his lap. Zim leaned back on his hands as the human massaged his little alien feet. Zim would have done this himself if he could reach down there, but his round stomach was in the way. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Dib could tell Zim was enjoying it. 

“..yeah.” Zim had a faint blush on his face. “..thank you.” It had never been easy for him to apologise or say thanks, because it had always felt like a form of weakness and submission. But Zim was actually weak right now, and how could he not thank Dib? 

“No problem.” Dib said as he massaged the other foot. He did this for a while until he noticed Zim’s half lidded eyes beginning to shut. The poor Irken was exhausted- Zim was also starving, but it’s not like he had anything to eat today. So he would have to wait till tomorrow. 

“Sleepy?” Dib said as he helped Zim lay down on the sleeping bag, and also helped him get under the cover. “Good night Zim.” The human found himself petting the Irken’s head affectionately, and quickly pulled his hand away when he realised. Zim had already fallen asleep on his side, and looked so peaceful in this moment. 

Dib made himself comfortable on the floor next to Zim, wanting to be close in case the alien tried to do anything stupid during the night.  
He used his own bag as a pillow, and took off a bit of the light armour and laid on his side. He fell asleep within moments, wondering what tomorrow would look like.


	3. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This fanfic will have a rape flashback, attempted rape, and mentions of rape. Cutting will also be mentioned, but will not happen in the fanfic. Everything is tagged as well, so please take this warning and tags into consideration before proceeding, since this story may not be for everyone.
> 
> Minor spoiler: Mentioned rapists will remain anonymous, and are not any of the main characters.
> 
> Note: This chapter has an attempted suicide, and briefly mentioned gore.
> 
> (Comments are always appreciated, and let me know that readers are still active and want me to continue!)

Dib woke up in what he assumed to be the morning, judging by the little bit of sunshine sleeping through the cracks of the slanted metal doors. He sat up, rubbing his tired eyes. Once his glasses were on, he looked around the room for Zim since he was no longer in his sleeping bag. He then realized he could hear a loud gagging sound coming from the unexplored second room of Zim’s home. 

He guessed the sound of gagging had woken him up- and then he was instantly on his feet, hurrying over to the dark small room. He peeked in through the door way, since there was no door. A single light bulb flickered in the corner of the room, resting on top of a shieldless lamp. Zim was hunched over a silver rusty bucket, sat on the floor on his knees and trembling. 

“Shit- are you ok?” He moved to sit beside Zim, instinctively rubbing his back right under his Pak. The Irken flinched at the touch, making Dib retract his hand with a blush. “Sorry.” He mumbled as those dull ruby eyes looked up at him. 

“..Dib..You don’t want to be her-“ Zim turned to the bucket again, hunching over and gaging nothing but saliva and his own stomach acids. He felt so nauseous, and his body was desperately trying to get rid of something that didn’t exist. So all of his efforts were futile and all this nausea was pointless. 

“..I’ll be here.” Dib replied, wishing he could do more to help. A few days ago, he had wanted to beat the crap out of Zim for leaving him. But after discovering the Irken was taken against his will and forced to be on this planet- pregnant and caring for two other smeets- Dib couldn’t be mad anymore. Zim looked like he had been barely surviving, while Dib had the luxury of his home and dorm. Not to mention he had gone to the best college on Earth. He wanted to spoil Zim when they got back to Earth. 

After a few minutes, Zim’s trembling began to calm down. His sharp panicked breaths became more even, and the gagging had stopped. His antenna however, still remained pinned flat on his head. 

The human saw the alien begin to tilt to his side, and he reacted in an instant. He caught Zim before he hit the ground, and the Irken leaned against him. 

“..Zim?” Dib looked down, realising the Irken was still half awake. 

“..Just give me a moment. I’m feeling a little light headed right now. But it should pass.” The Irken remained leaning on the human, taking comfort in the unintentional closeness. The feel of a bigger body, the sound of a steady heart beat, the calm vibes emitting from the human- were all enough to make Zim feel at ease.  
It was all so familiar, but at the same time, was not. The human was Dib. He still had his strong scent, which may have gotten stronger- or Zim may have just forgotten. His features were all Dib, just older. But he felt relaxed when the human was like this. Quietly letting Zim rest on him and looking out for him. 

“How are you feeling?” Dib asked after a few minutes of silence. His hand had moved to rest on Zim’s side, very gently rubbing. 

“..Better.” The Irken let out a long sigh. “I’m tired of being tired all the time.” He complained, finally sitting up on his own and then grabbing a torn up little towel resting beside the bucket and wiping his mouth. 

“Well- did you eat or drink anything yesterday?” The human asked, standing up before holding out a hand to help Zim up. 

The Irken still couldn’t understand why Dib was being so kind to him. The Irken had practically wasted so much of the human’s time- literally almost killed him and threatened his planet. But here Dib was. Warm smiles and soothing tones, with a hand reached out for him. 

Zim took it of course, since he would take any free help he could get. It hadn’t been just his back that was killing him, but his ankles and knees as well. He was the smallest Irken, and the Irken’s that had mated with him were large- so he assumed that is why this smeet was killing him from it’s size. 

“Not yesterday. Whatever I manage to find goes straight to Mip.. but if I find enough for myself, I’ll eat.” Zim shrugged casually, walking past Dib and back in to the main large room. 

“What?” Dib blinked, a little shocked. He hurried after Zim, needing to ask more questions. “So when do you eat then?” 

The Irken shrugged. “When I can. If I had found two candy bars yesterday, I would have eaten the second one myself.” He headed to the counter, dragging his shoulder bag closer to him and then checking the inside. "Invader's don't have to eat as much as smeets, and can go on for days without food. We were trained that way." He sighed.  
He began to wonder if now could be the time to ask Dib the question- the one that he had been dying to ask. Dib seemed like he was in a good mood, right? Zim didn’t want his smeets to have to stay on this filthy planet any longer. They deserved to go to Earth. And so while Zim packed a few things in his bag, he mentally prepared a speech. 

Dib didn’t know what to say, so he walked over to where he was sleeping last night and went through his own bag.  
He had finished the water bottle, and had given his packet of chips to those scavengers in an attempt to avoid a fight- but now he wished he had kept them. He tried to find something edible in his bag, and thankfully he found a small bottle of water. One of those tiny ones that were a quarter of the size of a normal one. He felt so stupid for having forgotten about it, and quickly pulled it out of the bag. 

“Hey Zim!” He got up and walked over to the Irken, holding out the water bottle. “Here, I found this in my bag- I must have forgotten I put it in there..” He blushed a little. 

Zim looked at it, and then back at Dib.  
“But that’s yours.” The alien said so obviously. 

“Yeah, and I’m giving it to you. Take it.” He looked into his cherry eyes, knowing what Zim was thinking. 

“..You should give it to Mip. He needs it.” Zim turned his attention back to his bag, where he wasn’t packing much in particular. Just a few more bright orange pieces of rope to leave marks behind. He had found them in an abandoned store that was practically full of supplies when it had been up and running. 

“What? No-“ Dib frowned. “This is for you. And you only.” He grabbed Zim’s hand with his own free hand, firmly placing the bottle in Zim’s palm. “You can’t give everything to Mip- I know you love him, but you need this. Please just drink it..” Dib was never one to beg, but right now, he was worried. 

Zim thought of his options- he then came up with a deal. 

“..Ok Dib.” He took the water bottle, then placed it on the counter. He looked up at Dib with serious eyes- he was earnest as he could be in this moment. His gaze also came off as desperate, and maybe scared.  
“..I know you must head back to Earth soon, since I doubt you would want to stay here any longer.” Zim gulped. “Who wants to stay on a dying planet filled with criminals with their arch nemesis? Ha..” He chuckled uneasily, feeling a little hot. 

“I know you don’t really like me, and I know I’ve done horrible things to you in the past- I tried to kill you and destroy Earth for so many times for so many years, and you have every right to be mad at me. But-“ His voice trembled out of nervousness. “The smeets have nothing to do with it. They are both good smeets.. they don’t deserve this life. So I wanted to ask if you could take the smeets with you..? I know it may be a lot to ask since you would have to raise the smeets yourself.. but honestly; they have a better chance at surviving and having a good life on Earth with you than with me. I don’t have the slightest clue on how to be a parent- because I never had any. You have a family, and grew up with those.. human social standards and all that. I personally think you will do a great job caring for them until they are old enough..” 

“I don’t have much to offer, but.. I just don’t want them to stay on this planet any longer. It’s horrible, and.. I have a feeling they will enjoy Earth. So- even if you hate me, I wanted to try asking you to take them. They shouldn’t have to pay for my mistakes and failures.. so please...” His antenna were low as he begged. “Please take them with you.” 

Dib was quiet for a moment, trying to process all of Zim’s words-  
The Irken went through hell, and it sure as hell changed him. Zim was more mature, and still had a bit of sass to him but.. he was no longer yelling and running around like when they were younger. Which could be because the Irken is low on energy and pregnant- that could be why Zim is more calmed down and docile. But still- hearing this from the once very selfish alien, was shocking to Dib. 

“Are you kidding?” Dib responded, and Zim took it the wrong way. 

“I..I’m not! I..If you want anything from me, or want me to do anything.. I’ll do it.” Even if he didn’t want to. 

The human shook his head. “No that’s not what I meant- Zim, I’m not leaving you here. We are ALL going home.. to Earth..” He was careful when he stepped closer to hug the alien. He was unsure if Zim liked this, but he had been feeling the need to hug Zim ever since last night.  
“..I don’t hate you. Not any more at least.” His hand was gentle when rubbing Zim’s back. “I know we were enemies, and I did my fair share of trying to expose you. But now you don’t want to take over Earth, and I don’t want to expose aliens.” Dib blushed when he felt smaller arms wrap around him from below- a sign that Zim was liking the hug. 

“We can be friends.. and honestly, I want you to come back more than anything. I missed you.. so much..” Dib tightened the hug just a bit. “I thought I’d never see you again. I even thought that you might be dead... but you’re here. You’re alive and- I don’t want to let you go. Ever.” He poured out his emotions, unable to stop the flow of words.  
“I lost you once, and I don’t want to loose you again. I want to be friends, and.. we can even be roommates. And I’ll help you take care of your kids too. We can both start fresh on Earth, and.. be happier. It’s a win-win.” Dib didn’t notice until the end that Zim was silently crying into him. 

“..Z..Zim?” He looked down at the trembling alien, who then looked up with his bright shimmering ruby eyes and met his gaze.

“..Thank you..” He smiled softly, trying to stop himself from shedding any more tears. 

Dib blushed deeply at those simple words- words that he thought he’d never hear Zim say so earnestly. Or even see that pure, genuine face. The face that showed Zim’s emotions, and Dib felt like he could see the fire ignite again in Zim’s eyes. He held him close, smiling down at him. 

“..n..no problem!” He said as they ended the hug. Zim swiftly wiping away his tears and opening the water bottle. He chugged the whole thing down, having been thirsty for a couple days now. His throat was getting dry, and it had even been painful to talk the last few hours. 

Dib watched Zim drink all the water within a split second. The poor Irken should have more- If they could all get back to the Voot, they could be off this planet and eating snacks on their trip home. 

A piercing cry made Zim’s antenna spring up straight to life. The Irken put the empty plastic bottle on the kitchen counter and rushed towards the crib. The little smeet was awake and wanting her mother’s attention. Zim reacted fast, picking her up and carefully bouncing her with one arm. His free hand worked to slip his shirt down as he made his way back to the chair he sat in yesterday.  
“Anything I can do?” Dib said as he sat down on the couch by Mip’s feet. The older smeet was still fast asleep, snoring lightly and hugging the plush tight.

Zim started feeding Jil again, and she was quick to stop crying and latch on. The Irken thought for a moment, because there were a few things Dib could do.. But Zim would feel bad asking him to do those things. It wasn’t an easy job-  
“I can do it Zim. Just tell me.” The human asked eagerly, awaiting instructions. He leaned forward on his knees, watching Zim. 

The Irken decided to give Dib an easy task for now. “If you could pack my bag and put it by the door that would be helpful.. I must leave early if I want to come back with anything by the end of today.” Zim tapped his chin. “I’ll need rope, an extra mask, gauze, orange ribbon, a knife, and my gun. They are all in the cupboards except for the weapons. They are under a hollow box in the bathroom.” He said whilst remaining a steady hold on his smeet, watching her and making sure to pick up on any cues that indicated she needed to burp now. 

“Zim, you do realise we are all going to leave here today, right?” Dib smiled. “So you’ll want to pack all of your things, and we can head back to the Voot!” The human sounded cheerful, while Zim looked doubtful. 

“As much as I want to leave today, I have a feeling we will need to camp out if the Voot is parked on the other side of the town.” And Zim wasn’t sure if he was even up to doing that. 

“What? Zim- I spent maybe three or four hours trying to find you, and then we spent an hour walking back to your place. So it should only be five hours at max.” 

“Dib. You aren’t taking a lot of things into consideration. First of all, we cannot travel during a sandstorm with the smeets. And those tend to start around the end of the day- not to mention we can’t even lift off with the storm going on. Second, we will be going around the city, which will add.. maybe eight to ten hours of extra walking. Third, if it is not cloudy, we will have to wait under the shade. It gets too hot to travel, even for me. And going around the town would mean there would be a lot of open space.. so I’m not sure if we would even find any shade..” Zim looked away, still not comfortable with the idea of taking his smeets out the door. But what choice did he have? 

“Why do we have to go around the city?” Dib asked, confused. 

“Because the city is full of other Irkens and scavengers. I’m not going through the city with the smeets.. if I’m on my own, I can handle it. But I don’t want the smeets to be endangered.” Zim said in a scolding tone, lifting Jil up to his shoulder and giving her a few pats on the back. “I also don’t feel comfortable feeding Jil in the city. Irken antenna can pick up my scent easily if I exposed myself like that. And I don’t want to have to be in such a vulnerable position in the middle of possible danger. Oh! Can’t forget, Jil’s cries too! In the city, they will echo and others are bound to hear..” Unless Zim was once again, quick to act and fed her immediately. But sometimes, Jil would cry anyway for reasons Zim wasn’t always sure of. 

“Well, you’re forgetting that you have me!” Dib raised his voice a little. “I can watch your back, and I’ll keep all of you safe. I promise.” He said determinedly, and could just see the conflicting look on Zim’s face. 

“..I don’t know Dib. I don’t want to put my smeet’s in danger. And I’m a little immobile on the combat scale right now..” The Irken sighed, and after hearing a small burp or two, went back to nursing. 

“Isn’t it better to get there quicker though? And like you said, there are sandstorms near the end of the day. How are we supposed to camp out for the night if we aren’t in the city? We won’t have any shelter.” Dib added, seeing a small figure shift from the corner of his eyes. 

The human had a good point. “Well if we travel along the outskirts of the city, we can go camp out in one of the buildings on the edge for the night.” 

Dib was about to say something when he felt a smeet crawl on to his lap. The smeet looked up at him with a smile. 

“..He likes you.” Zim couldn’t help but feel happy at the sight of Mip being friendly with someone. The poor smeet barely had any interactions with anyone besides Zim and Jil- so it was nice to see a change. 

The human blushed, gently setting a hand on the smeet’s head. “..Hey Mip.” He pat him, and the smeet purred with delight.  
“So-“ Dib brought his attention back to the conversation, letting Mip stay on his lap. “Why don’t I just go, and bring the ship here then?” He suggested, since it probably was the safest method. 

But for some reason, it seemed to strike fear in Zim. The Irken didn’t want to be abandoned- not again. Dib might leave, he might never come back- or worse, he could be killed and Zim would be waiting forever for nothing. He knew it was the best option for the smeets, but at the same time- he didn’t want Dib to leave them. He very much preferred sticking together.  
“There is no way you will be able to fly a ship across the city without someone noticing-“ Zim went pale, then looked over at Dib. “Wait..Please tell me you at least hid the ship? Or put it in camouflage mode?” The Irken worried, looking wide-eyed. 

“..I mean- I parked it behind a hill, and it’s in defensive mode..” Dib gulped. “..but it’s not camouflaged..” 

Zim face palmed, his antenna pinning back to his head. “You stupid stupid human! The ship’s probably already gone! I’m sure someone saw you land if you were close to the city- and they probably took the ship and left!” A flash of anger sparked in his eyes- and Dib could have sworn they glowed red for a split second. 

“You don’t know that! It’s probably still there..” Dib said in an unsure tone, looking away nervously. “And I’ll have you know I’m not stupid. I just didn’t know-“ 

“I can’t believe you! You just stranded yourself! You idiot!” He gave him false hope, and now Zim felt crushed. He had poured his feelings out, cried and thanked the human, and had such high hopes about his smeets getting a better life.. and now it was probably all gone due to the human’s stupidity! 

“I didn’t strand myself! And I’m not an idiot, ok?! I bet you the ship’s just fine! You’re just being paranoid!” Dib snapped back, getting defensive. 

“Ha! Says the one who flew all the way across space just to make sure I’m not causing any trouble!” Zim hissed. “You are more than an idiot, you are a fool! How could you not put the ship in camouflage when leaving it unattended on a foreign planet?! It’s basic protocol!” Zim said as the smeet in his arms stopped suckling. 

“You think that’s why I flew all the way out here?! No! I flew all the way across space because I was curious to know what the fuck happened to you!” Dib huffed, crossing his arms. “Basic protocol?? Well sorry to inform you that I’ve not had any Irken military training! And yet- I think I did pretty well fixing up Tak’s ship, learning how to use it and then flying all the way here! And I did all that WITHOUT training!” 

“Then clearly you were having difficulties since it took you YEARS to finally come here! A smeet could fix that ship and fly it in a day without any training!!” 

“Unlike Irkens, humans can’t have information downloaded into their brains after birth!”

“Well none of that matters any more, does it?! What were you doing all those years?! Fixing a ship just so you can come here and get a death sentence because of your stupidity?! All that time- just wasted because you didn’t do one simple thing!!” 

“I wasted those years?! I’ll have you know that I graduated from college, improved my mental health, and made my dad proud ON TOP of fixing an alien ship! So yeah- I did so much more than whatever you were doing here! I actually accomplished things, and actually did something with my life! Then I dragged myself all the way here to save your sorry ass, and this is the thanks I get?! Being insulted?!” Dib growled. “So tell me Zim, while I’ve been doing all that, what have you been doing huh? Are you REALLY in a place to be shit talking about me? You don’t know anything!” 

Mip slowly crawled off the human’s lap, getting a little scared. 

“I was too busy trying to survive while you were on Earth doing the things you wanted to do! So yeah- maybe I never graduated as an real invader. Maybe I never acknowledged my mental health, and maybe I never got to make anyone proud- but at least I’ve made it this far!” Zim felt his throat tighten up. “And sure I may not know anything about you- but you don’t anything about me either! You don’t know how I got Jil, and you don’t know how this-“ Zim gestured to to his stomach. “Happened either! Even I don’t know who is responsible for this-“ The Irken frowned, antenna falling low. “But thank Irk I didn’t turn out to be an idiot human like you! You pretty much signed yourself up for misery by that one mistake!!” 

“You’re still trying to call me an idiot?! At least I actually accomplished a lot of things so far unlike you! What have you accomplished apart from failing to take over Earth and getting pregnant huh?!” Dib cringed as soon as he said it. 

The Irken was silent for a moment before replying. 

“Ok FINE! I get it. I have zero accomplishments to be proud of.” Zim fixed his shirt, covering his exposed half back up. “So.. whatever! You win this argument. I’m done.” The Irken got up to go place Jil in bed- she was quiet, and seemed to be full since she was no longer crying.  
As soon as Zim placed her in the crib, the smeet started playing with one of the toys resting on her little pillow. It was normally something that would have made Zim smile, but the Irken was in no mood to be smiling right now. He didn’t even have time to argue- he had already wasted precious time. 

So he grabbed his half-full bag in a hurry, putting his cloak on and swinging the bag over his shoulder. 

Dib stood up. “Zim wait-“ 

The Irken completely ignored him and walked right out the door, slamming the door shut behind him. Right now, the skies were clear and the sun was out. Quite hot, but better than having to deal with dust. 

His chest felt heavy. Not from the obvious breasts resting on his chest, but from the emotional pain he was feeling. Thankfully, his mission to find food was a good enough distraction for now. He couldn’t be sitting around crying all day like a little smeet. He had things to do. Smeets to feed. There was no time for his feelings to be acting up. 

“ZIM WAIT!” Dib yelled, stumbling out the base and running after him. 

The Irken stopped, knowing that Dib could easily catch up to him even if he tried to run. 

The human was panting a little- probably from running in the sudden heat. Even Zim was beginning to sweat.  
“I didn’t mean to say that back there..” The human bit his lip. “I just.. got upset when you kept talking about how much of an idiot I was. Because.. it’s true. I can be an idiot.” He stood up straight, catching his breath. “Please don’t go.” 

“...what do you want human.” Zim asked without looking, his fists clenched as he tried to not think about Dib’s words. 

“..Zim, I’m sorry. Just- please come back inside. We can talk about this- I’m sure the Voot is still there..” He said once again, in a not so confident tone. 

“What is the point?” Zim turned around, eyes shimmering. “If the Voot is still there, then take the smeets and go. I don’t want to go to Earth and constantly be reminded of my failure to take over that dirt ball. I don’t want to be reminded that I never had a purpose and never managed to do anything good in my life!” The Irken trembled, unable to hold back tears. “I know I’m weak, I know I’m useless and I know I can’t do anything! You’ve clearly gotten your life together- so just.. leave me be. You are more fit to be a parent than I am.” Zim slumped down on the dusty ground on his knees. “I just want all this to be over with. I just.. I just want to die already.” He said the last part quietly. It would be so much easier, and probably be the one thing Zim could do to please anyone. Maybe then, he would have made at least one accomplishment. 

“..Don’t say that..” Dib approached the Irken, really regretting his words from earlier. “..I was wrong. You’ve.. accomplished a lot of things. And you’ve impressed me so many times.. Zim..” He knelt on the ground, but the alien refused to look up at him. 

“No I haven’t. I wasn’t even meant to be born. The Tallests should have killed me the moment I hatched. I’d do it if I could go back in time. Then Mip wouldn’t be here and you wouldn’t have had to suffer all those years. The Tallests and the whole Empire wouldn’t hate me, Impending Doom One would have succeeded, and everyone would have been happier.” Zim’s antenna remained low. He whipped out his gun, then handed it to Dib. “Just do it. Do the one thing you’ve always wanted to do and get rid of me. Please.” Since Zim’s Pak’s programming wouldn’t allow him to kill himself, all he could do was ask. Dib was here- the smeets were in good hands now. He wanted to go. he was just so done with everything-

“You think that’s what I want?” Dib set the gun down. “You think I want to kill you?” 

“Well what good have I done for you? Or for anyone? I’ve done nothing but hurt you, almost kill you and insult you. So get your revenge- you’d be doing everyone a favor.” Zim continued to cry, hating himself more and more.  
“Like you said. All I’ve ‘accomplished’ was failing to rule Earth and getting pregnant. That’s all I’m good for anyway..” The Irken was tired. He wished he could sleep and never wake up. Sometimes he wished this was all one big nightmare or simulation- and that Zim would wake up and find out that he wasn’t actually such a failure. 

“Please don’t say that.” Dib pulled the alien in for a tight hug. “It’s not true. Ok? I just said those things because I was angry.”

“It’s true, Dib. I was too weak to fight, completely forgot about all my training and now- it’s my fault that I’m with smeet. I wasn’t good enough, and this is my consequence.” Zim pat his stomach. “..I don’t want to bring a smeet into this horrible world. I don’t want the smeet to have to grow up living in shame for being related to me.” The Irken kept crying, trying to wipe tears with his hand as he sniffed. “No smeet deserves to have the worst Irken alive as their parent.” Zim still remembered the words of that guard crystal clear. 

“..You’re not the worst Irken alive!” Dib put his hands on Zim’s face, tilting it up so he had to look at him. “Listen. You’ve done so much good for a lot of people Zim. Without you, my life would have been boring. I had something no other kid on Earth had- an alien nemesis. I got to go on adventures and learn about new things through my battles with you. I became stronger as a person mentally, and physically. You helped me get through the bad days in Hi Skool, and you were always there for me whenever I thought my life was meaningless.” Dib saw a faint blush on Zim’s face- good.  
“You’ve saved Earth, multiple times! You’ve saved me a couple times too, and none of that would have been possible without your invader skills. You were trained only moments after being born- and I think that’s amazing. You don’t know how talented you are Zim- always making things, fixing ships, knowing more about the universe than I do. You’re really smart Zim, and I hope you can be smart enough to know the amount of good you have done and are doing right now.” 

“I can’t even begin to comprehend how the hell you managed to keep Gir all those years. He was all over the place, and you had the patience of an experienced parent! I would have turned him off and stored him in a box till I figured out a way to fix him. I’m surprised you didn’t do that either, and you kept him around and made sure he was ok. You didn’t have to take care of him- you didn’t have to leave the house at 2am to get him a bag of tacos, but you did.” The human smiled. “These kids too- You were able to take care of yourself as well as Mip and Jil! I bet they are really happy you are here right now, and they are happy to be alive and well-and that was only possible because of you. You went out everyday into the midst of danger whilst pregnant to find food for Mip. You take care of two kids in this shitty environment! That’s really impressive Zim.” Dib looked into those ruby eyes, which seemed to have stopped spilling tears. 

“So don’t ever talk shit about yourself. Ok? It’s not your fault- none of this is. It’s that stupid guys fault, for being a jerk and taking advantage of you. I don’t know how or what exactly happened, and I won’t ask- just know that this isn’t your consequence. And when this kid is here-“ he moved a hand and placed it on the Irkens round stomach. “They aren’t going to care about your past mistakes. Which weren’t even your fault to begin with! You weren’t intentionally trying to harm anyone- maybe except me, but I forgive you Zim. I.. like you. And I want you around. Those kids back there want you too..” The human gently rubbed in circular motions, feeling Zim relax under his touch. 

“We are all getting out of here. And I promise- Earth won’t remind you of any failures. Because you never failed. You only succeeded in making my life better, and keeping Earth safe from other threats.” Dib watched Zim closely, hoping that his words could somewhat change the Irken’s mind. “I’m personally really glad you were born. And I want to find out when you were born so I can throw you the best birthday parties.” He chuckled, pulling Zim back in for a hug. 

“I didn’t think anyone wanted me.” Zim said in a shaky voice, hugging back this time. 

“Well you thought wrong. I want you. And so do all of your kids.” The human then put the gun on his side before scooping Zim up into his arms.  
The Irken was startled, and quickly tightened his hold around Dib as he felt large hands go under him. 

“You actually aren’t as heavy as I thought you would be.” Dib laughed and carried Zim back towards the makeshift base. The alien didn’t complain, and simply leaned against Dib as he took him back home. 

——————————

“Ok, so here’s the plan-“ Dib said as he laid out the map Zim had created over the course of a few years. It was spread on the coffee table, Zim on one side and Dib in the other. Their current location -which was the base- was marked with a red dot on the paper, and it seemed like Zim had also marked a few of the danger zones as well as the headquarters of the planet. 

“Plan A, we go through the city and get to the Voot. If we see trouble, then we can change our course and travel along the outskirts of the city. Then go around the danger and continue our journey through the city once we’ve passed it. This is the most efficient and safe way, and we should get there before sunset.”  
“But if the Voot is gone, I have another plan.” Dib moved his finger to the Planet headquarters. “I’m practically invisible since I don’t have a Pak. You three will wait on top of the abandoned building near by. I’ll break in, steal a ship and pick you guys up- then we leave.” Dib finished, looking at Zim for approval. 

The Irken looked uncomfortable- the human wondered if he still wanted to travel around the city instead of through it. Which would take longer, and will come with its own risks such as storms and the fact that they needed to sleep.  
“..Dib, I’ve tried to steal a ship from the headquarters in the past. It didn’t go well. The soldier’s there have complete control of the place. If you want to get a ship, you’re going to have to not be seen, and figure out a way to disconnect the ship’s controls to the soldier’s Paks, then change it to manual. And you have to do all this without setting off any alarms.” Zim looked down at the map. “There are other flaws too. The abandoned building is very unstable, if you were to pick us up, you will need to completely land the ship on the ground. Which may take more time if you are being chased.” 

Dib sighed. “..Ok. Then why don’t you guys come with-“

“NO.” Zim raised his voice all too quickly, startling Dib. The Irken realised his mistake quickly, and settled back down with a guilty look after seeing Dib’s shocked expression. “..Sorry.” He mumbled, averting his gaze.

“..Is there something you’re not telling me?” Dib raised a brow, suspicious. “If you know anything about the place- I’d rather know and be a little more prepared..” The human watched him closely, noticing the discomfort Zim was going through. He was going to say never mind, but Zim already started talking. 

“That was one of the places where I was.. forced to breed.” He hugged himself- he felt like he could trust Dib with this information. He had been afraid to tell him due to the human maybe finding away to use that to hurt him in the future. Plus, it had been hard and emotionally tiring to recall. But Dib can know. Zim trusted him.  
“I broke in there with Mip. He doesn’t have an Irken Pak yet- he has a smeet Pak which can’t be detected. This applies to Jil too. And my Pak- it’s too defective to even be considered a Pak.” He sighed, looking over at Dib. “My plan was going well. I was small enough then to crawl through the vents that lead to one of the hallways outside the ship garage. I was so close- but was too blinded by excitement that I just ran for it. I didn’t look behind me, and I wasn’t carful.. which caused Mip to be captured.” He gulped, antenna pinned back.  
“The soldier was going to kill him if I didn’t do what he said. S..so I listened.” Zim cringed. “When he was done, he kept his word and let us both go. He kicked us out the building and we had to find shelter for the night. I haven’t gone back since..”

Zim felt strong arms pull him onto a lap and wrap around him. The Irken was eager to accept the comfort, and cuddled up against the human. 

“..I’m sorry that happened..” Dib kept Zim close, being gentle with both words and affection. “..I’d kill the guy if I could.” He mumbled, hearing Zim purr against him. He chose not to comment about it in fear of him stopping those cute sounds. 

“..Well.. there are a few other guys you might want to kill then.” Zim looked up, feeling safe and relaxed. “This happened twice.. The second time was longer, with multiple Irkens..” 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to Zim..” Dib continued to pet him.

“..I actually feel better after I talk about it with you. It’s like.. I was just holding it in this whole time. I didn’t have anybody around to help me or acknowledge what had happened. So.. it’s nice to have you around to talk to.” Zim smiled softly, his small hand moving to hold one of Dib’s hands. A show of affection on Irk- holding another’s bare hands.

The human blushed, his fingers wrapping around Zim’s hand. “..Then I’ll listen.” He smiled, his thumb rubbing the back of the alien’s hand.

Nobody had ever listened to Zim, so this was a nice change. “..Well, me and Mip were on our way to find a better place to settle down. It wasn’t long after the headquarters incident.. but we bumped in to a scavenger gang of fifteen Irkens. They took us back to their base by force, and then locked Mip inside a room- which triggers him. He hates being trapped- especially in small dark places..” He frowned. “They wanted to keep him to use for Pak parts. Which are hard to come by on this planet. If they took the Pak off, the smeet Pak would go on lockdown mode, so they had to keep him alive. I was just.. so angry with them.” He clenched a fist, his hold on Dib’s hand tightening.  
“They took me to a dungeon-like place. It was underground, with a a lot of cells. I’m guessing it used to be a place where prisoners were kept before this planet turned into hell.” He leaned into Dib more, and was happy that the human accepted it by rubbing his arm gently. 

“I can’t remember how many there were.. but like I said, I was angry at first. But.. I got scared as soon as they all circled around me with that.. predatory gaze..” He shivered. “I spent hours just.. begging, and pleading- yelling for them to stop but they didn’t.” Zim’s voice cracked, and he began to cry again. 

“...I’m here.” Dib didn’t know if he could get any closer to Zim- he had him in his lap, hugging tightly. “..Shhh..” He looked down at the alien- once nothing but a ranging, hot headed, confident little jerk. But no thanks to all the things he had been through- he was broken. 

“..When they were done, they locked me up in a cell. Saying they would keep me to use for pleasure since I was relatively short and small compared to all of them. But there was this one guy that brought me food.. he was ok. He took care of Mip and made sure he was healthy. He was like a little messenger.” The memory became less painful when he remembered that guy. 

“Anyway.. this continued for a couple days. Around two times a day, a group of Irken’s would come in to my cell and do whatever they wanted. I was really giving up at this point.. contemplated on just ripping my Pak off but..If I died, Mip would have no one.”  
“After a relatively long session, a different prisoner was put in the cell across from me- her name was Shemi. Apparently she had been kept in a bedroom, but after attempting to escape they threw her down with me.”  
“She was.. really pregnant. A defective like me, and so.. her birth control wasn’t working. She told me about her plans to escape, and about how she would take me and Mip back to her home if we helped. She had been there longer than I have, and was desperate to leave, even if it costed her her life..” 

“Long story short, we managed to escape. She lived here-“ Zim gestured to the room they were in. “And had been living here on her own for a long time until she was captured-but then was able to come back.”  
“..We lived together, and she was probably the closest I can get to saying I had a parent- and was much older than me. She took good care of me and Mip, and helped us learn about this planet and how to survive..” 

“But a few weeks later, I started to have these.. symptoms. And then my stomach began to show- and she told me that I was pregnant.” Zim subconsciously moved his hand to his round stomach.  
“..I was scared. And.. upset. But she was there to help me. She wasn’t one for affection, but she was good with her choice of words.” 

“Overtime, I began to notice her skin looking more pale. One of her antenna just completely fell off, and her vision was really bad. I found out that she had been taking apart her own Pak to make a smeet Pak for her smeet..”  
“She told me she wasn’t going to survive the birth of her smeet. She was too weak and her Pak barely functioning- and had told me to cut the smeet out if I had to.” He held Dib’s hand tighter. “I wanted to help her in anyway to get stronger- so I went out scavenging to try and find a lot of food for her. But.. one day when I came home, she was already dead. On the floor, with a smeet screaming in her limp arms. Mip was.. he was crying with a knife in his hand. It was a really horrible scene.. Even I threw up..” 

“..shit.” Dib said softly, and looked over at Mip who was happily playing with the stuffed toy Zim had got him yesterday. 

“I covered her first. Buried her, and then cleaned up the place..” He looked down at his own bump, tracing a finger along the stretched shirt. “Thankfully I was beginning to lactate by then, so I was able to feed her smeet. I named the smeet Jil because I remembered her saying she wanted that name if her smeet was a female.”

“It’s been a couple long months since then. I.. honestly didn’t know what I was going to do. If I sacrificed myself to have my own smeet, Mip, Jil, and the smeet would all be left alone.. and probably die. So I had been planning to let the smeet go unless I could find a body with a Pak in the city. The parts of Shemi’s Pak were not enough, and so I had searched..”

Zim smiled so softly despite tears being in his eyes. He nuzzled his head against Dib, happy that he was here. “But now.. I guess we all have a chance. I can most likely use parts of the Voot to construct a Pak after we land on Earth. If not, then I know that your father is bound to have a shmillon parts I can use to construct something!”

“..Yeah..” Dib blushed, trying not to think too many perverted thoughts as Zim nuzzled his body against him. He wasn’t doing it in a sexual way- wasn’t meaning to at least.  
“You’re gunna be ok space boy.. and so are your kids.” He smiled before picking Zim up again as he stood up. 

He set the Irken down on his feet.  
“Alright, lets aim to leave in an hour!”


End file.
